Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
