3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
Randomize
