About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
