no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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