So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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