That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
how drunk are you?
Several
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
