And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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