I like my sex mixed with concussions.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Are we still banned from the library?
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Randomize
