the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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