the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
