Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
