Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize