These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize