Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
she looked like the before picture.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
