Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Randomize
