some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
