your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I pour the whiskey from now on
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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