I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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