Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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