A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Walk of Shame today included voting.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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