I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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