just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
It's just like the Real World with babies
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
