soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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