He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
