he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
