Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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