when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
