I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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