I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
You are the jesus of drinking
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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