is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
