He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
Randomize
