Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
now i know why i became what i already was.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize
