I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Ketchup is God's man juice
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize