he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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