Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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