why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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