He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
