I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
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