Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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