I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
