You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
