Is it because I queefed?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
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