So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
