And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
