i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
