the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize