Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
