if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
wow bdsm is so cute
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
