i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
