you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
