I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
