White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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