thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize
