So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
