yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
whose ass print is on the piano?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Randomize
