i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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