I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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