Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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