why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
He better not be in your backpack
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize