Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
