I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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