New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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